The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My vagina just clenched in fear
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
