I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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