i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
