We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
