yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just want nice things and good sex
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
