I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
