YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is it penis luge time yet?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
