We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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