If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
