You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
