he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
