who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
