remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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