I'm gonna have a badass scar
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
