I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
