i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
