I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
