she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize