He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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