she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
