she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just found puke in my bra..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
