Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
