I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
