what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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