you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
