a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just had sex bonerless
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize