This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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