sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
