A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How's work?
Spinning.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
