I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
