what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
