Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
