My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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