you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
