quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm at about main and main street
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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