connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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