I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
