She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize