if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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