Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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