I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And then my night got REAL pukey
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
