eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
