The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
