What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
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