I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
