My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
