In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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