Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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