So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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