So drunk, too bad you don't want this
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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