you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
