ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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