i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
