he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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