Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
