A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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