Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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