These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
