Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
