You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
