erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
