dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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