I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
