Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
