Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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