My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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